Kill me or Kiss me
by The Velvet Rain Drops
Summary: She was all I saw, and as much as I hated her there was something that drew me to her."Draco stopped and smiled to himself slightly.“I never thought I’d have fallen for a girl like Hermione Granger." AU M for later chapters,DM/HG,Mention of RW/HG,18 rec.
1. Sugar Quills and Poison Kisses

**A/N**: Ok so this story is something I've been bouncing around in my head with major plot bunnies for a long time. It was originally going to be a simple one shot but as I said before I was attacked by plot bunnies and the plot seemed to extend and develop more than I had intended it to. This is going to be a mixture of flash backs and present time point of view scenes, using both Hermione and Draco's point of views and experiences. So in that light here is the first chapter of this story called "Kill me or Kiss me" Also I don't have a Beta so if anyone's interested please send me a PM or an email and we'll work something out.

**UPDATED JUNE 1, 2009**: I'm adding more to the first chapter. I posted the chapter in hopes to see if people would cling to the idea and be able to give me a few suggestions. And I have to admit I love you all for actually reviewing and giving me your feedback. And as I was reading them over I noticed that with all of the positive feedback I wanted to now make it an official chapter and add all of the rest of the things I was planning on adding. So this is the revised version of the first chapter and I hope it answers anymore questions you guys had or are going to have, and explained things better for you all.

**Disclaimer**: I obviously don't own Harry Potter or anything pertaining to it. It all belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Brothers, even if I disagree with some of the pairing of the characters they have. And it wouldnt have been a PG / PG-13 movie series. xD The only thing I own are the situations that I create and the evil plot bunnies that harrass me daily to give into their whims. lol

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The room was small and cramped, with the intent of giving the occupant the feeling of being trapped and claustrophobic. There was to be no way out of the situation they had put themselves in and by the appearance of the room it was obvious. The walls were dirty, dark and cracks were evident along the length of the room, there was a smell of mold that clung to the air and made a person want to cough and sneeze. A single light hung from the ceiling casting light directly on the subject in the room, the corners of the room danced with shadows and the sound of scurrying creatures flitted in and out of hearing. A single double paned window sat on the opposite wall looking in on the room. It was amusing to the occupant how much the wizarding world had taken from the muggles they so often ridiculed, and played off as incompetent fools. A smirk was evident on his face as he looked at himself in the mirror; he had an evenly and perfectly symmetrical face, high cheekbones, and an aristocratic nose set in the middle of his face. He had ice cold grey eyes that seemed to have a devilish glint to them and to finish it off a head of shaggy blonde hair that fell into his face courtesy of his mother. He was the picture of a pureblood wizard who didn't have to explain himself to anyone. But on that day sitting in one of the Ministry's holding cells Draco Malfoy had a lot of explaining to do.

Looking into the mirror that sat on the wall he mentally traced over the bruises and cuts that had been left on his face from his latest fight for his life. Flashes of screams and threats went through his mind as he sat there smoking a cigarette occasionally flicking the ash onto the floor deliberately ignoring the ashtray that had been given to him. It was a habit he had picked up on much to his annoyance but it helped ease the stress and tension when other activities weren't feasible or conveniently available. He wasn't the normal person and had never had the most normal life, he was used to pain, torture, physical and verbal abuse and sitting in that room was a vacation compared to what had had went thru in the past year and a half of his life, more specifically the last forty eight hours. To anyone on the outside looking into the Ministry holding cell he looked to be at ease and without a care in the world but if they truly knew Draco they would see the way he clenched his fist every once in a while, the way he used his bandaged hand to work out his bruised jaw after each drag of his cigarette. They would see him slowly and gently drag his bottom lip over the split that was evident by the small drop of blood that would form slowly after each swipe of his tongue. He mind was a confused mess of memories new and old, thoughts of concern for the people he had left behind after he had killed the man he had once called father. Were they ok? Was it all worth it, and had he made the right choice? Would the one person he cared for more than his mother in the world forgive him for everything he had put her through and give him the second chance he craved more than anything in the world? All these things were going through him mind as he sat there slouched in his chair the picture of relaxation.

The sound of the door opening caused Draco to look up from his chair placed in front of the table that he was seated in front of and watch as two ministry Aurors walked into the room. The first one to join him in the room was an older man around forty with salt and pepper hair that was cut short and close to his head. He wore a stern look on his face that said he meant business without him having to say a word. He worn a simple pair of slacks and a button up shirt that had the top two buttons unbuttoned. The second Auror that walked into the room was completely different from her partner, she was a young girl looking to be around twenty to twenty two, and was petite. Her hair was cut short into a slight bob and was as black as Indian ink. All in all she reminded him immensely of Pansy, something that caused him to grimace and look away from her as bad memories came to mind. The older man walked towards Draco and conjured a chair out of the air and placed it down in front of the table and sat down, placing a folder down on the table with Draco's name on it he looked Draco over before he began to speak. "So Mr. Malfoy-" The Auror began but Draco cut him off. "It's just Draco, Mr. Malfoy was my bastard of a father, and as you can plainly see I am not him." Taking another drag of his cigarette he held it in for a few seconds and then let it out blowing it towards the ceiling and way from the man in front of him. Looking at Draco with a surprised expression the Auror simply nodded and began again. "Alright….Draco, how about you tell us how this all began, and then we'll go from there."

Sitting there Draco remained quiet for a few minutes, took a drag from his cigarette and then pressed the filter into the ash tray they had given him. So many things assaulted his mind when he began to decide on how to begin his story. Would he begin with love, duty, family, or the assumed honor that was supposed to go with following a half blood hypocrite and a complete nutter? How would he start to explain his reasoning for killing the man who had raised him and had rammed his beliefs down his throat since before he could talk? How did one explain and justify killing their parent? Or better yet how did a pureblood wizard from a family as old as his explain why he killed his own father to save his traitor of a mother and his mudblood lover? He had killed his father to protect his mother and girlfriend from the tyrant who had made him believe that everything that wasn't pure and as old in tradition as his family, was a joke. Anything that wasn't pureblood was an abomination and didn't deserve to be breathing. That all mudblood and half blood girls were only good for one thing, and that was to "_**release tension, and satisfy the urge for the moment. But remember Draco you marry within your own kind, a pureblood witch to carry on the Malfoy name and legacy. Who's only purpose is to produce an heir worthy to serve the Dark Lord**__." _That was the message that had been rammed into his head since he was old enough to understand about girls and the urges every teenage boy had. His father had raised him to be the man he believed he was supposed to be, prideful, ruthless, and above all loathing anything and everything that wasn't _**pure**_. But it was because of his mother that he was even sitting in that chair, she was the reason he had even paid attention to the one girl his father had taught him to hate with every fiber of his being. It was his mother who had tried to plant a seed of independence in her young son even with her husband's unyielding prejudice and hatred of all things the Dark Lord didn't agree with. She had never wanted the life of a Deatheater's wife, she had never wanted to watch her only child be beaten and tortured because he wasn't meeting the expectations Lucius had set for him. _**"Follow your heart my little Dragon, always remember your heart will always have an answer to your questions where as your head will make it harder for you in most cases." **_He remembered it like it was yesterday writing home to his mother about that certain mudblood who had yet again bested him in their O.W.L.S. He complained that no matter how hard he studied and no matter what he did she still was the top of their year and the best student. Her reply was simple and to the point. _**"All out standings Draco I'm so proud of you….remember that I am proud of you no matter what you do in this life. You will always be my heart, and my reason to live." **_

It was because of his mother that he was in that room, being charged for the murder of his father. And it was only right to start with the one person who had caused everything to lead up to that moment in time. "It began my sixth year of school right after coming back from summer holiday after the big ministry and Deatheater fight. It was surprising how many didn't come back that year, and by that I mean the children of high ranking Deatheater's didn't come back. They had been transferred to Durmstrang or Beauxbatons where their pure blood views would be better understood. I once again rejoined my fellow Slytherins and took up the title of the Slytherin Prince and pretended to still have the same views as my other fellow Slytherins did even if I didn't. Being a Malfoy I had a reputation to uphold and I had a father at home who I still had to deal with and keep happy or face the consequences. I had to be the best at everything there was; Quidditch, Potions, Spells, and especially the Dark Arts. No matter how I tried to be the best there was always one person who always beat me…except in Quidditch of course. She had always interested me to a point to where I found myself watching her whenever she was around, and as much as I hated her there was something that drew me to her, something that made me want to know what made her tick." Draco stopped and smiled to himself slightly and took a drag of his new cigarette, and blew it out no longer caring where it went. Raking a hand through his disheveled blonde hair he pushed it out of his face and smirked as they waited for him to continue. "I never thought I'd have fallen for a girl like Hermione Granger."

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||Flash Back||

Walking through the familiar halls of Hogwarts in mid October Draco minds was on other things besides his sixth year of transfiguration with Professor McGonagall. Things much more important and sinister had started happening and he dreaded the time when he would have to join the ranks of the Deatheaters. His father wanted to present him to the Dark Lord on his sixteenth birthday and for him to be welcomed into the fold and to receive his dark mark, he had always known his mothers views on his joining the Dark Lord and become a Deatheater. She had made it clear she didn't want him to be a part of that and every time she voiced her opinion on the issue around his father he would wind up smacking her across the face for disrespecting the Dark Lord and going against his wishes. Slowly Draco learned that if he wanted to get around his father and his wishes he was going to have to be smart about it, was going to have make sure he didn't make any mistakes. For one mistake could cost not only his life but the life of his mother, the one person who meant more than the world to him.

One thing that was bothering him more than his father's persistence about his joining the ranks of the Deatheaters was Pansy's persistence about their impending engagement, and her becoming the newest member of the Malfoy family. He was getting tired of Crabbe and Goyle always following him around reporting to his father what he was doing and how he was doing in his studies. He felt like his life was under a microscope and all because he was the only one to not take the dark mark yet. He was under constant watch to see if he was doing anything that would dishonor his father's name, and it was beginning to try his patience. Hand stuffed into his pocket his books tucked under that same arm while his other held his outer robe over his shoulder he walked down the corridor towards his class and not like he didn't care that he was five minutes late but it wasn't his fault. Pansy had decided that right before he was going to leave for class that she wanted to have a talk about the plans for their engagement party and which invitations he liked better. She was honestly becoming a pain in his ass and he was trying to figure out ways to avoid her, without much luck of course she was a very persistent wench. Walking into the class he took his usual seat next to his best friend and confidant Blaise and dropped his book on the table ignoring McGonagall taking five points from Slytherin for being tardy.

Slouching back in his seat he ignored the look from Blaise and looked at the front board and pretended to listen to the lesson that he had already learned over the summer when he taught himself everything he would need to know this year so he could try and be ahead of Granger for once. Looking over to where she was sitting he looked her over and noticed how she looked when she was deep in thought, she was sitting in her chair next to Potter sucking on the end of her sugar quill. The sight was the most arousing thing he had ever seen and as much as he loathed her and her friends he found himself wanting her. Cursing under his breath softly he looked away and noticed that Blaise had looked up and had turned to look where Draco had looked away from, seeing Hermione with the sugar quill in her mouth Blaise smirked and looked back down at his parchment. Grabbing his quill he pulled Draco's parchment closer to him and then began scribbling on it. **"_I wouldn't mind being that quill right now!"_** With a smirk Blaise went back to his parchment and continued writing down his Transfiguration notes. With a scowl and a groan Draco turned to him. "Don't let your mother hear you saying that." Draco growled out as he gave him an evil grin.

"My mother wouldn't care as much as your father would." With a scoff Draco scowled and turned away from Blaise and then murmured under his breath. "As long as I don't marry her he wouldn't give a shit!"

When the class was over he stood and was talking to Blaise when he happened to see the Weasel checking out the Gryffindor Lavender Brown right in front of Hermione. Seeing her hurt expression his first instinct was to smirk and taunt her about her boyfriend not even being interested in her to pay her any mind, but something made him stop and then simply watch her more. The words Blaise had been saying went in one ear and out the other leaving him to simply watched Draco zoned out and watching Hermione walking down the aisle and towards the exit. Taking out his wand Blaise waved it slightly and watched as Hermione's books tumbled out of her arms and fell to the floor in a loud crash. Seeing the blush rush into her cheeks she looked around and blushed even more when she saw the two Slytherins had seen her clumsiness. Feeling Blaise bump into him and nudge him towards Hermione Draco watched him walk out of the room as he stepped closer to pick up one of her books. He couldn't help but look her over as she kneeled down to pick up her books. She had legs that he found himself imagining wrapped around him, and a waist he was dying to wrap his hands around. Her hair was down to her mid back now and were it wasn't straight it was in soft ringlet curls that he found himself wanting to run his fingers through. Watching her tuck her hair behind her ear a smirk crossed his lips as he watched her and then realized that they were the only two left in the room. Walking over to where she was kneeling he picked up the last book that was on the floor of hers and waited for her to look up before he handed it to her.

In an instant her smile of gratitude turned into a look of annoyance before she snatched her book back from him and put it into her bag. Standing up Draco couldn't help but look her over as she did and didn't bother hiding it when she looked back at him, rolling her eyes she turned around and began walking away. "What no thank you?" Draco asked as he smirked at her retreating form. Watching her stop she sighed visibly and then turned around to face him and Draco knew he was a goner, gracing her perfectly shaped face was a scowl that would have made any Slytherin back down. "Thank…you." She said voice dripping with venom and then walked away her hips swaying as she all but strutted out of the room. Her skirt moving with her hips in a dangerously seductive manner unintentionally teasing the Slytherin Prince and intriguing him to no end. Tilting his head to the side as he watched her walk out of the classroom he smirked and shook him head as he soon followed out of the classroom. "_O yea this year was going to be fun." _He thought as he shut the door behind him. And that was the beginning of his flirting game with Hermione Granger, the one person who he wasn't supposed to want had become the one person that was beginning to occupy his mind more and more.

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By the end of November Draco had learned a lot about the young and ever growing attractive Hermione Granger, and what he had learned was quite interesting. But the one thing that had intrigued him the most was her failing relationship with the Weasel and how little he noticed about her. Since her return to her beloved school she had become more and more feminine and had began taking time and putting it into her appearance even if it was little subtle things. Her hair was no longer bushy but fell down her back in soft ringlet curls, her long shapely legs no longer hidden behind her closed frumpy class robes instead she opted to wearing them open and allowing her now developed and shapely body to be seen and admired by not only him but much of their male classmates. It was becoming a commonly heard comment about the newly noticed curves, and the way the boys were beginning to admire her. He had lost count on how many times he heard them saying they'd love if she could fill their naughty librarian fantasy. Smirking at that thought Draco always shook his head and simply watched her reaction to the attention she was now getting, and as he suspected Ron didn't notice a thing unless Lavender Brown was around batting her eyelashes at him and winking suggestively.

Ron remained ignorant to her growing beauty and the growing chance of losing her if he didn't pay her more attention. Since learning of Weasel's growing obsession with Ms. Brown and his slowly dying relationship with Hermione Draco had made it his mission to not only flirt with the Gryffindor princess but to push her comfort levels with physical contact and to see just how far she was willing to go. At first it was a simple brush in the hallway, or a touch of her hair as he passed her chair during potions class, maybe it was a whisper in her ear as she studied in the library or an 'accidental' brushing of his hand against her thigh while they were partnered up in charms class under the table. Whatever it happened to be Draco was enjoying watching her reactions to his attentions and how she never once called him out on it, never once did she threaten him with bodily harm or with the threat of telling either one of their heads of house.

Instead she would ignore it and either blush, or tell him he was mad and that he must have had a charm backfire on him. It was one day as unimportant as any day that Draco decided to push the limit of Hermione and Ron's relationship, and with how far the beauty was willing to let him go in their little game. Walking into the library he wandered the stacks looking at random books on the shelves that he passed, dragging his fingertips along the spines of the ancient books he chose one out of random and opened the book and began to skim one of the pages. As he approached where she was sitting and studying he began walking around her table reading aloud in a soft and almost seductive voice. "Belladonna or Deadly Nightshade is a perennial herbaceous plant native to Europe, the berries are extremely toxic and cause bizarre hallucinations. Huh sounds like fun…"He said as he smirked at her when she met his gaze and then continued. "It was used in the Middle Ages as a poison….well obviously, two ancient Roman wives used it….blah blah blah….Macbeth used it before he died….blah blah blah complete nutter….loved his mother…..in a completely unneeded incestuous way might I add." Draco said grabbing her attention at his comment on Macbeth knowing it was one of her favorite plays. Smirking when she sighed rolled her eyes and then looked back down at her parchment and began writing again he continued on with his little speech.

"Funny how women are very much like this plant don't you think? Belladonna meaning Beautiful Woman in Italian yet this plant is such a deadly thing if ingested, or if ones skin is exposed to it for a long enough period of time. I wonder if I touched your skin Granger-"He said leaning down and dragging his hand over her cheek grazing the soft skin slowly. "like I am right now would you allow your poison to slowly kill me in a most…….torturously seductive way?" Draco asked as he made his way over to the other side of her neck reaching out slowly and brushed a strand of her curly hair away from her face that had fallen from her pony tail. At the same time he allowed his fingers to slowly brush against her soft silky skin in a teasing manner, leaning close to her ear he whispered softly to her. "Or do you have other means of keeping Weasley under your spell that only he is entitled to knowing about ?" Moving out of the way just in time Draco caught her hand before it came into contact with his face and smiled at her thankful his seeker skills were on point. "I suggest you think about what you say to me before a repeat of third year happens again!" She said anger evident in her voice as he continued to hold her hand hostage. Tisking at her he turned her hand over and placed her fingers against his lips and kissed each one. Ignoring her comment Draco kept eyes contact with her as he began speaking again pausing between each kiss to her fingers. "I believe any man would willingly take poison knowing your face was the last thing he would see." Looking up into her eyes once more he let her hand drop to her lap before he winked at her and walked out of the small back study area and out of the library leaving a slightly annoyed and flustered Hermione in his wake.

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A/N: Well how did you like it ? Review and let me know, the next chapter will be Hermione's thoughts and feeling on everything that has happened so far and what she feels as our favorite Slytherin suddenly starts paying more attention to her.


	2. Pretty Girl

**A/N: **I'm back with the next installment of Kill me or Kiss me. Yay ! I have to say I have been overwhelmed with the support and the reviews, favorites, and story alerts I have received from you all ! You guys rock ! xD This chapter was written while listening to Sugarcult "Pretty girl" which I find will be a reoccurring trend that most of the chapters will have a song that has influenced them tremendously and will be a major hint as to what the feeling of the chapter will be like. I will be most likely be either making the title of the chapter the song title or letting you know in the author's note.

Also sorry for the long wait, I was on vacation and then started a new job so I've been crazy busy and didn't have a chance to update but I'm thinking chapters will be but up on Mondays either every week or every other week depending on what going on in my life. Most likely every other Monday though.

**Disclaimer**: I obviously don't own Harry Potter or anything pertaining to it. It all belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Brothers.

**Previously in Kill me or Kiss me:**

_Tisking at her he turned her hand over and placed her fingers against his lips and kissed each one. Ignoring her comment Draco kept eyes contact with her as he began speaking again pausing between each kiss to her fingers. "I believe any man would willingly take poison knowing your face was the last thing he would see." Looking up into her eyes once more he let her hand drop to her lap before he winked at her and walked out of the small back study area and out of the library leaving a slightly annoyed and flustered Hermione in his wake._

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He challenged her in the worst ways, pushed her to the edge infuriated her and at the same time thrilled her. All in all he was bad and she knew the best thing to do was to avoid him and his antics saving her not only a headache but aggravation from dealing with his snobbish bigotries and close minded views. Then again he had been going against the norm and had been dare she say it, flirting with her. No. Draco Malfoy didn't flirt with mudbloods, half breeds, or muggle lovers, especially if they were best friends with Harry Potter. He tortured them mentally, physically, and emotionally, pushed them to the limit of their self-control and pushed them over the edge laughing all the while enjoying their discomfort. He was vile, mean, untrustworthy, and as of lately he made her slightly uneasy with his attentions suddenly directed at her. For six years now her and Malfoy had been at odds using magic, verbal insults, and physical retaliation on her part against each other, and now all of a sudden he was kissing her hand, staring openly at her when she walked past him and instead of calling her mudblood he simply used other names just as endearing and memorable to get his point across when no one was around. They fought just as much as they used to but something was different, he didn't sneer at her as much instead he would send her what she assumed was his best charming smile and would wink at her whenever she visibly got angry at him. She would roll her eyes and ignore him figuring it was just a new way for him to amuse himself and pass the time in classes as well as a way of bothering her.

She had gotten used to his name calling, his jabs at her blood status, her inability to be anything worthwhile in the world. She had accepted the fact that Draco Malfoy probably hated her and anyone who wasn't a pureblood, she had learned to tune him out and ignore the insults he threw at her under his breath when she walked by. But when they changed from insults to slight flirtations and seemingly civil banter she wasn't prepared for that. She knew she wasn't the most unattractive girl in her year or in the school for that matter but she didn't understand why now all of a sudden all of the boys wanted to pay attention to her. First Dean and Seamus talking about her in the common room and then to Draco's daily banter, it was good and all but she wished it was coming from the one person she actually cared about. It seemed that person had lost interest in her and was only staying with her to keep the trio together. Ron the boy she thought was the one she would be with forever even if it was a silly fairy tale notion was slowly distancing himself from he used to carry her books and compliment her now he seemed to almost ignore her to a point when ever certain people were around. Sure she was stubborn and was always first to say what she felt on a topic but when it came to Ron and her relationship she found herself unable to stand up for herself, unable to rock the boat scared he would in fact break up with her. She had been the ugly duckling for so long that she felt if he did break up with her that she'd be the only one out of the trio to not have someone. Harry had Ginny to love and support him, and she thought she had Ron. It was always assumed that they would be together, from the rumors of people wondering if they were to the full on far from subtle hints Mrs. Weasley threw at them it was unavoidable, so when they finally did make it official she wasn't surprised to hear people saying "about time, or knew that was bound to happen." Sure Ron had his down falls; his bad manners, his inability to chew with his mouth closed, his lack of motivation towards his studies and his quick temper but beyond that he was her best friend. But the things she loved about him was his loyalty to his friends, and his value on family and wanting to have one when he got out of school. All of those things and others kept her with Ron, kept her from saying anything about his blatant and obvious ogling of Lavender Brown when he thought she wasn't looking, it kept her from starting a scene and from ending something she felt she wouldn't be able to get again.

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Walking through the halls on the third floor she passed by several classrooms as she walked past the open windows overlooking the lake, it was Friday and she had just finished her last class of the day. Holding her bag over her shoulder she smiled to herself as she walked down the stairs her destination on her mind and her plans of sitting in the prefects lounge with her favorite book "The Note Book" enjoying the quiet and peacefulness of everyone being in their own houses enjoying the impending weekend. Not hearing the footsteps of the person walking towards her she wasn't prepared for the hard body that she slammed into mere seconds after rounding the corner from the third floor stairs. Feeling herself falling backwards she braced for the impact of the stone floor against her body, and when it never came she realized that she felt large hands holding onto her upper arms tightly keeping her from falling to the floor. Opening her eyes she was met with the sight of amused green eyes she recognized instantly as belonging to her best friend Harry. After she had gathered herself and stood up right she smiled and blushed as she took her bag from his outstretched hand and then tucked her hair behind her ear.

"You ok Hermione? Sorry I didn't see you there before it was too late." He said scratching the back of his head something he always did whenever he was embarrassed. Hearing footsteps and voices becoming increasingly louder by the second she guessed he was headed to Quidditch practice and him and the teams were headed to the pitch. "It's ok Harry, my mind was elsewhere. You on your way to practice?" She asked as she started walking with him down the stairs, and then smiled when Ron finally caught up with them and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Yea we have a game against Slytherin next week and we want to get in some extra practice before the game." Harry said smiling at his two friends as he watched Ron slip his arm around Hermione's shoulders. He had noticed Ron's attention had been diverted lately and he felt badly when he saw Hermione's sad face the week before after potions class. He mentioned it to Ron nonchalantly in passing and he was shocked Ron didn't even realize he was doing it in front of Hermione. Ron wasn't the brightest crayon in the box but he was his best mate and so was Hermione. Deciding to try and help the situation Harry suggested ending things with Hermione if he didn't want to be with her anymore, and immediately Ron became defensive and said he loved Hermione and had no intention of breaking up with her. Hoping he was honest and serious about his statement Harry let it go and for the past week or so he had become more attentive towards her. Walking with her to the prefects lounge Harry and Ron said their goodbyes and then went on their way after the rest of the team as Hermione watched them leave her heart a little lighter after Ron's affectionate embrace and kiss.

Walking into the Prefect's lounge she smiled when she noticed that it was empty and she would have the full place to herself, walking over to the window seat large enough for three people she sat down and opened her book. She was halfway through the book and she had noticed that while it was a love story it was a real one, it wasn't all fairytale bliss. They fought, cried, and even broke up. It was as real as she expected life to be and she often found herself drawn to stories like that, the ones that didn't always have the happy ending. It reminded her that even if her life wasn't the most normal and everyday as a girl her age expected it to be there was a love out there that was raw, passionate, true, and above all honest. Looking up from her book she yawned and stretched looking at her watch that was on her wrist she noticed had been in the lounge for almost three hours and was sure the boys had finished practice by now and were heading back to the common room. Debating on moving from her warm comfortable seat she stretched and covered her mouth as she yawned and stood from her place in the window, grabbing her book she slipped it into her bag. It was almost seven and dinner would be served soon so she decided it was time to leave the peaceful seclusion of the prefect lounge.

Walking down the third floor corridor about to cross out of an alcove and over one of the moving staircases when she heard footsteps and turned to see who it was, losing her footing at the stairs began to move she watched a hand shoot out and grab her arm before she hit the ground. Standing up she cursed under her breath and sighed as she straightened her skirt and jumper. "This gonna be a bloody daily reoccurrence now?"She said to herself not having looked up yet, adjusting her bag strap on her shoulder she looked up and was momentarily stunned when she met stormy grey eyes staring back at her in amusement. At first she simply stared at him unsure what to do and then he smirked and opened his mouth. "Well it can be if you want it to, I wouldn't complain." Draco said as he leaned against the wall behind them. Looking him over she couldn't understand him, why now did he decide to show interest, why now did he choose to pull a complete 360 and start this new and seemingly twisted game. Looking up at him she shook her head and a frown formed on her face as she tried to make sense of what she was going to say. "Why ? Why now after years of hating me and making my life a living hell." She said to him unable to understand his intentions or his reasoning behind his recent actions. Her question caught him off guard as he simply stared at her for a moment unsure as to how to answer her, he had never really thought about what he would say if she ever asked him. He should have known that she would eventually come to question his intentions and would confront him, but he never expected her to ask so soon. He expected her to try and ignore it for a few more weeks, or hell even wait until after holiday to say something to him, but never this soon. Looking at her he contemplated making some excuse up to try and throw her off but from the way she was looking at him he doubted she would believe anything but the truth. And what would he tell her to explain his sudden change in attitude towards her ? Would or could he even tell her that he actually didn't hate her and found himself pushing her buttons, making fun of her and simply torturing her because something about her got to him. Tell her that she got under his skin in a way that no one else had ever been able to, tell her that the simple knowledge that he could cause such strong emotions to rise from her with a simple expression drove his actions. Something about her intrigued him and pushed him to try and be better and smarter than her, she gave him something to strive for besides trying to be his father along with his insane dreams of power and glory. How could he tell her that he found himself admiring her not only because she had filled out the body that had been hidden for all these years but that he was attracted to her because he knew there would be things to talk about besides what looked better on her or how pretty she looked. He was used to hearing that and more from Pansy and every other girl he had ever managed to hook up with in his house and others and was tired of the cookie cutter repetition.

He wanted something that would keep his attention for more than the half hour that he was enjoying himself physically, he wanted the whole package and wasn't about to settle for something less. He wanted someone who wouldn't be afraid to put him in his place and tell him he was being a stubborn arrogant prick yet at the same time not back down when he challenged them mentally, physically or emotionally. Draco had lost count of all the times she had come back at him and had not backed down when he challenged her. It encouraged him and made him do it over and over again just to see her chocolate brown eyes light up in anger. He knew he had hurt her more than she let anyone see, and he knew she didn't trust him. But something in her eyes as she looked at him at the moment made him see that there was a chance that one day she could trust him, one day give him the benefit of a doubt that maybe there was a small glimmer of light in his otherwise black soul. Pushing off of the wall slightly he stood up straight in front of her towering over her looking down into her chocolate eyes, he knew it was bound to happen and felt there wasn't a better time than the present. "Why ?" He said as he looked at her the empty hallway providing an almost surreal atmosphere around them. "Because……whether or not you realize this Granger you're a force to be reckoned with. Potter may be the shining star of your little trio but you're the real reason he's even still alive, how many times have you saved his arse, how many times have you been the one to keep him from killing himself with his stupidity? " He asked looking at her with a stare that made chills go down her spine. "Yet there's a part of you that wants to be invisible, wants to just melt into the background despite how talented you are. There's a part of you that I know is dying to simply be someone that's not _golden_, and that part of you is dark Granger. That's the reason why, because I know there's a part of you that's thrilled by the thought of me touching you, that's wants me to continue to tell you every naughty little thing that a good girl like you shouldn't do." He whispered as he trailed his hand down her arm and smirked when she closed her eyes and looked away towards the stone floor beneath them. "Tell me I'm wrong and I'll stop, tell me you don't want me to touch you and I'll stop. Tell me that it doesn't thrill you to know that someone other than that prat of a boyfriend finds you simply intoxicating." He said as he stepped closer to her and played with a strand of her hair. The honey and vanilla scent washing over his senses a vision of his tangling his fingers in her hair flashing in his mind. Waiting for her to respond he let go of the curl that he had touched and remained close to her the empty halls providing an unintentional amount of intimacy something she wasn't used to.

Taking a shaky breath she wanted to tell him he was wrong, wanted to tell him that she hated him and his new found interest in her. She wanted to tell him that his voice that close to her ear didn't send chills down her spine and his touch didn't thrill her senses. No one but Ron had ever told her she was desirable and lately that had all but stopped happening to a point where she felt she wasn't beautiful since he wasn't paying her any attention. Draco was dangerous, something forbidden and completely wrong. She wasn't supposed to respond to him the way she did, she cursed herself for finding it hard to breathe when he was this close to her, for her heart beating so fast whenever he touched her skin. Unable to look at him she kept her eyes closed as she took a slow deep breath. "I…I don't want you to touch me." She said with a soft voice wishing it sounded more convincing. Hearing him chuckle softly she looked up when she felt his fingers under her chin. "Look at me when you say it and then I might believe you." He replied his eyes twinkling with amusement. Knowing she wasn't able to do that she was about to say something when the sound of footsteps met their ears. The sound startled her and the chance to slip away from him when he was distracted seemed all to promising. Looking at him she began to turn away from him when he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him. His lips met hers in an instant and the heat that ignited in her body consumed her and scared her all at the same time. They were soft , demanding, skilled and it made her knees weak. Fighting back the moan that threaten to escape her lips the kiss ended as quickly as it began and she was left standing in the small alcove watching his retreating form walking away from her and towards the sound of the approaching footsteps.

* * *

Walking into the dining hall after dropping off her books in the girls dorm she walked over to were Harry and Ron were sitting already eating dinner. No even looking up when she sat down Ron continued eating and mumbled a hello around his food filled mouth. Grimacing in disgust at the sight of it sat down across from then next to Luna and began adding food to her plate, taking her time since she found her hands shaking slightly. Hearing her name being called she looked up and met the worried green eyes of Harry. "You ok Hermione, your almost a half hour late for dinner." He asked as he took a sip of his pumpkin juice.

"I'm fine Harry, just got lost in the book I'm reading and didn't realize the time." She covered as she pasted on a fake smile as she took the first bite of her food. Seeing him nod accepting her answer she continued to eat and paid only slight attention to what was being said around her it was a mixture of Quidditch practice, Snarflers (from Luna) and having to listen to the loud and obnoxious voice of Lavender Brown four seats down from her. She fought the urge to roll her eyes when she heard her talking about the Christmas gift she had gotten someone at the table, who remained conveniently unnamed. Hearing Ginny begin to speak Hermione paid attention when she heard Lavender's name. "Lavender will you shut the bloody hell up! Nobody cares what you got your imagine boyfriend, so can it before I make you!" She snapped as she slammed her mug of pumpkin juice down on the table. Feeling herself smile she looked up at Ginny slowly and then smiled more when she saw her best friend smile back at her and wink.

Feeling slightly better that not everyone was as daft as Ron seemed to be she smiled and began eating again her mood slightly better after hearing Ginny. The rest of dinner went off without another outburst from either Lavender or Ginny and Hermione's encounter with Draco became a forgotten memory as she enjoyed the company of her friends. But when Luna leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear that Draco was staring at her she closed her eyes and hoped no one else had seen. Looking up from her plate she couldn't help it when her eyes looked across the room and landed on the one person who wasn't in conversation with people around him. His stormy grey eyes met hers and she couldn't help the shiver that went down her back as he slowly smiled at her, it was a smile that could only be described as the way a hungry wolf would look at a lamb before he pounced and devoured it whole. Breaking the gaze a few seconds afterwards she fought the blush that crept into her cheeks and tucked her hair behind her ear. The only thing that she could think of was that hell even if he was up to no good, she couldn't help the knowledge that if she wasn't going to escape her feelings for him she might as well throw caution to the wind and enjoy the ride.

* * *

A/N: Ok so that was the latest installment of Kill Me or Kiss Me. How did you like it? Let me know and help me keep this story going strong with feedback and ideas.


	3. Cause your taking all my energy

**A/N: **So it seems there is quite a number of Draco Hermione fans out there since the last installment of the visual form of Harry Potter came out into theaters. Apparently since Tom Felton's sudden and extreme burst of sexiness since the last movie and Emma Watson is still adorable they have suddenly seen the light….(some of them) and have joined the club and support the pairing. All I have to say is welcome aboard and Dramione pins, stickers, and pictures can be found and bought at the end of every chapter for a mere 2 knuts. ^_^

As for the long wait, I'll be honest with you all I hit a wall of writers block. Due to my muse going on vacation to the lovely island of Procrastination and Working35hoursaweek. Yes I know don't you all wish you were there ? . I didn't think so either. Well she's back now and I'm being hit over the head with a bag of sugar quills for being distracted by Fuffy (Faith&Buffy) stories and finally getting my collector set of seasons 1-7 of BtVs. Anyhow…on to Kill Me or Kiss Me.

The song(s) for this chapter:

1)Tracy Bonham "Whether you fall"

2)Keri Hilson "Energy"

**Disclaimer**: I obviously don't own Harry Potter or anything pertaining to it. It all belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Brothers.

**Previously in Kill me or Kiss me:**

_His stormy grey eyes met hers and she couldn't help the shiver that went down her back as he slowly smiled at her, it was a smile that could only be described as the way a hungry wolf would look at a lamb before he pounced and devoured it whole. Breaking the gaze a few seconds afterwards she fought the blush that crept into her cheeks and tucked her hair behind her ear. The only thing that she could think of was that even if he was up to no good, she couldn't help the feeling that if she wasn't going to escape her feelings for him she might as well throw caution to the wind and enjoy the ride._

* * *

It was cold and her enchanted hot butterbeer was doing nothing to keep her warm as she sat next to Luna in the stands watching the first Quidditch game of the season before winter break. It was Gryffindor vs. Slytherin and at the moment the score was tied 75 all. So far she had to admit Slytherin was playing fair compared to past games with Gryffindor being their arch enemies in not only Quidditch but in general. She was sporting her Gryffindor red with pride but if one looked closely they would also see another color gracing her petite form; gracing her ear lobes was a pair of emerald green studs her mother had given her for her return back to school gift and she hadn't worn them until seeing them in her jewelry box that morning. A small grin had graced her lips as she heard his name in the back of her mind the minute she touched them.

They seemed to scream for everyone's attention as she wore them, making her slightly self-conscious as to who could actually see them behind her chocolate brown hair. The earrings were slightly heavier than she was used to simply because they were real emeralds even small as they were; about a centimeter and a half in diameter they sparkled in the winter sun beautifully. It had been about two weeks since her encounter with Draco and to say it hadn't affected her would have been a lie. She had done everything in her power to avoid him and yet it seemed the most she was able to do was to simply stay in places she would never be alone in. Places like the Library, dining hall, and the Perfects Lounge between last classes of the day and dinner time.

The sound of Gryffindor's yelling their disapproval of something that had happened drew Hermione back into real time and had her asking Luna what happened. "Crabbe sent a bludger at one of the new players on our team and sent him off his broom. Thank god they were only fifteen feet or so off the ground, and I think the Neebles softened his blow. They seem to be keeping an eye on Gryffindor lately." Looking down at the floor of the Quidditch Pitch she watched as someone was carried off the Pitch and the players suddenly begin playing again. Not having leaned back from the edge of the railing Hermione was sent back with a slight scream when a flash of green zoomed past her face nearly hitting her and then was up in the air a moment later followed by laughter from the Slytherins around them. Pushing her hair from her face and being helped up by Luna, Hermione looked around for the culprit. High up in the sky she made out the form of Goyle rejoining Crabbe giving him a high five as they both looked down at her and waved mockingly.

Scowling at their actions she sat back down next to Luna and was happy when Madam Hooch started the game again. It was a blur of Red and Green and it vaguely reminded Hermione of Christmas causing her to smile as she watched Blaise zooming full speed at Ron with the quaffle ready to be thrown, standing up with Luna to watch the next play two figures zoomed past them diving head first towards the pitch floor. Not sure which to follow it became a fury of whip lash as the fight between Draco and Harry in pursuit of the snitch and Blaise charging Ron with the quaffle took place. Part of her wanted Draco to catch the snitch and for Blaise to score giving Slytherin the win, but the Gryffindor inside of her roared to life as she watched the quaffle sore at Ron as her attention was ripped from Draco and Harry. It was blur of red and she wasn't sure what she had seen was real until the screams of the crowd met her ears, Ronald had knocked the quaffle not only away from the goal but had sent it with such speed and power across the field that it scored another point with the help of Katie Bell at the same time Harry caught the snitch. The stands were in an up roar with the cheers of _Go Go Gryffindor _and the fury of the students waving their red and gold fags. Luna turned to Hermione and hugged her as both girls cheered and rejoiced along with the crowd in the first Quidditch victory for Gryffindor house of the season.

After they had left the Pitch and had made their way back to Gryffindor Common Room it was obvious that not only was a party being held but everyone was congratulating not only Harry for catching the snitch but Ron for making an amazing gold even if it was assisted by Katie. Standing and laughing with Ginny & Luna enjoying the warm and pleasant atmosphere Hermione was making her way over to Ron to give him a congratulatory hug and kiss with Ginny's urgings when she stopped in her tracks. In front of her standing on one of the common room side tables was Ron locked in a passionate kiss with Lavender Brown, oblivious to the fact that not only was he kissing her back but his girlfriend was in the room and standing right in front of him. Every fiber in her body screamed in fury, screamed in pain, and yet the one thing she felt more than anything was guilt. No more than two weeks before she had been in the same position, admittedly she hadn't kissed Draco or even kissed back but it had happened. Immediately the sound of her name reached her ears and soon all she wanted to do was turn around and walk from the room with some dignity.

Two people tried to stop her exit as she ignored the whoops and hollering at the kiss that was the object of everyone's attention at the moment. Harry reached her first and touched her shoulder to stop her as Ginny stepped in front of her instantly apologizing to her for her brothers daft and stupid mistake of not only publicly doing this but not even realizing what he had done or would until someone made him see. Shaking her head she shrugged out of their holds refusing to break down in front of anyone in that room especially Ron. "He made his choice…publically, and in turn he's made mine for me." Hermione said as she walked away from Ginny through the tightly packed bodies, out of the room and into the slightly cold corridor.

* * *

To say Ginny wasn't mad would have been wrong, to say she was angry would have been taking it lightly, but to say she was anything less than downright homicidal would have been right on point as she made her way through the crowd with Harry in toe towards her older brother. Tapping him on the shoulder she waited for him to fully face her before she reared back and punched him square in the face, and then went to hit him again but was held back by Harry and Fred with George glaring down at Ron. "You stupid, pig headed idiotic, waste of space and energy. Do you have any idea what you just did?"Ginny yelled at him as the common room got quite. "Do you have any concern for anyone but yourself and your stupid Quidditch?" She said as she fought against Harry and Fred's hold. "And you….ohhh….you…you trollop cant you go find someone who doesn't already have a girlfriend? Or are you just that pathetic that no one else wants you?"She fired at Lavender as she stopped trying to get to Ron. She hated what her brother had done to Hermione but what she hated even more was he wasn't able to control himself now that Hermione wasn't the only one paying him attention. "You don't deserve her, and she's too good for you, but when you finally realize what you've lost its going to be too late." Throwing the boys hands off of her she turned and walked away from the group and out of the common room and up into the girl's dormitories not having seen where Hermione had walked off to. Fred and George both turned and fought the urge to hex Ron as he mumbled something along the lines of_ "What the bloody hell's got her all wacked out."_

* * *

The corridors were quiet and thankfully empty as she walked along unsure as to where she was going but understanding the need to simply be away from the common room. Too many things were going through her mind, to many things tearing at her resolve to not cry because of him and what had happened. Her actions had simply been thoughts not acted upon, yet why did her mind scream hypocrite at her. Did the fact that she hadn't put a stop to Draco and his advances make her guilty along with Ron, or did she want to feel guilty to having enjoyed his attentions even if they hadn't come from her boyfriend. She was so used to making excuses for Ron that she wasn't sure of what she wanted anymore, wasn't sure if for so long she had simply made herself think she was happy to keep everyone else happy.

That's what she was, she was the glue that kept them safe, kept them happy, and most of all made everything easier and less work for them. She wondered what she had become to Ron; a means to making things easier without having to expect much in return. It had always been expected for her to help them with their studies, help figure out what shape of the boogey man Voldemort and his followers were coming after them in this time, and never say anything about it because that was her role in the trio. But not anymore, she refused to be anything less than what she was and she was Hermione Granger one third of the Golden Trio and entirely her own person from now on.

Her footsteps were quiet as she all but ran down the halls the need to walk, move, do anything was pushing her along blindly and when she finally couldn't run anymore she sat down at the bottom up one of the smaller staircases. Tears streamed down her face and despite her resolve to not let him make her cry it was inevitable. She wasn't sure how long she had sat there or how long she had cried when finally it seemed she didn't have any more tears left in her and she simply sat there debating on going back to the common room and giving Ron a piece of her mind or to simply just let it be. The sound of fast approaching footsteps caused her to look up and she couldn't help but smile as two people rounded the corner and came down the staircase she was sitting on and sat on both sides of her. Ginny, and Harry with his cloak and map in hand smiled at her and simply sat there waiting for her to talk if she wanted to. Shaking her head she looked at both of them and sighed with a small smile on her face. "Can't a girl sulk in peace anymore?" She asked as she conjured a tissue and wiped her nose.

"Not when your best friends with the likes of us you can't, plus after Ginny punched Ron in the face I got nauseous watching Brown moping around and hearing Ron complaining about his nose might being broken." Harry said with a small smile as he nudged her softly. Looking over at Ginny with shock evident on her face she wasn't prepared for the fresh onslaught of tears that hit her and it was made even worse when Ginny grabbed her and hugged her letting her cry on her. "Whyareyouguyssogoodtome?"She said mumbled against Ginny's shoulder. Looking at Harry, Ginny gave him a confused look as to what she had said and Harry simply smiled and shook his head. "She asked why we were such good friends. And the answer to that is cause…well I'm not sure why really because you are a bit strange but nonetheless we care about you like family and I assume that's why. Cause with family we have to love the strange ones no matter what."

Looking up she smiled at her friends and wiped her eyes as she leaned into the group hug that she noticed they had put her in. Laughing softly she shook her head and just let it happen. "You realize how corny you guys are being right now right? Cause I mean I feel like it's a Saturday day morning family special with this hug right now." Hearing or rather feeling Harry laughing she smiled and shook her head until Ginny's words sent them both laughing. "Is that like a potion or something? Saturday morning special?"

* * *

It had started as a rumor, a simple flutter along the upperclassmen's gossip chain; apparently Hogwarts Golden Trio was no longer a trio. One rumor was Harry, Ginny and Hermione had been caught have a much less platonic study session and Ron had walked in on them. That one was one of the funnier ones Draco had heard, the others were slightly more convincing but false as he soon found out. The defeat against Gryffindor was disappointing but Draco wasn't upset completely it had been a test run to see their strategy and to try and figure out their weak points since sitting in on a practice had been banned after a Hufflepuff mysteriously fallen off their broom during one practice. His walk to potions was one that was occupied with thoughts on Potters flying style and if it could be used against him in future matches. Thinking of Potter his mind seemingly of its own free will traveled to the cute brunette that seemed to never be more than a thought away in his mind. He hadn't gotten a chance to simply talk to her alone since he had kissed her and he was starting to think he would never get the chance unless he kidnapped her. Sure it was a very good and Slytherin plan but he didn't think Professor McGonagall would agree in his good intentions of simply talking to her once he was found out. He wasn't sure why he had kissed her that day but it just seemed to be the right thing to do at that moment.

She was so frustrating and so maddening that all he wanted to do sometimes was grab her and shake her hoping to get something in response from her besides witty comebacks and insults. He knew there was something deep inside of her just fighting to get out and he wanted to be the one to help her even if it was his fault she suddenly exploded. Whenever he heard a whisper of her name he found himself listening to anything that would hint to making her more understandable yet all he got was the usual bullshit. _She's always right, she always raises her hand, and does she even like the guys who happen to be watching her now days. But most recently it was she looks so sad, or I wonder if she even cares that he did that to her, she always did seem cold to the opposite sex. Maybe that's why he cheated on her. _Shaking his head Draco sighed so the prat finally got caught, he had expected it to happen a lot sooner but he would have given the git props if it hadn't been Hermione he had cheated on. All he seemed to want to do was beat the shit out of him and make him pay for hurting her. Shaking his head Draco cleared those thoughts as he walked through the library in between classes, the sound of muffled voices and then the rough voice of a guy's voice raised and slightly angry met his ears. "Why can't you bloody listen to me Herms, it was only a kiss nothing to get your knickers in a bunch. If I wanted her I'd be off snogging her right now and not standing here with you trying to get you to just kiss and forgive me." Ron said as Draco kept his distance and watched from the darkened stacks near the couple.

"Seems kissing got you in trouble the last time Ronald…..thought you would have learned that by now. I didn't know you were that daft."Hermione said glaring up at him.

"Why are you being such a bloody…..pain in my arse Hermes. I'm trying to apologize and all I'm getting in return is grief."

"Because you're being an asshole Ronald, and what you did was wrong, and nothing with you is ever that simple…even if you are." Hermione mumbled the last bit and then winced when Ron's hand slammed into the stone wall beside her head. Glaring up at him she kept her ground and didn't back down when he leaned in close to her and began whispering harshly to her.

"You maybe my girl and my best friend but keep insulting my intelligence and you'll regret it." Ron said all but seething at her.

"What are you gonna do Ron…hit me? I dare you to touch me, I'd have you on your ass before you know what hit you and I wouldn't even have to say a word. And I'm no longer your girl; you made that one official two nights ago." She responded as she stood up taller challenging him. Draco wasn't sure Ron would stoop as low as to hit a girl but Draco didn't want to find out, knowing Hermione could and would take care of herself he settled for causing a distraction if she needed it. Ron was about to respond when he heard a few books falling to the floor in the row behind them, stepping back from Hermione Ron looked around and then walked away after glaring at her one last time. Watching her take a deep breath and then let it out slowly she sank down into her seat and placed her head in her hand and simply sat at the table she had been working at earlier.

Stepping out of the darkened stack Draco made his way over to her slowly unsure how to act so he went for the most comfortable. "Trouble in paradise?" He asked and instantly regretted it when she looked up and tear stained eyes met his. Anger, rage, and most of all the urge to protect her swelled up inside of him. He knew she was strong but he had never seen her cry over a boy or anyone before, but it seemed his mouth wasn't getting the signal to stop despite how his mind screamed for him to shut up. "What the honey moon period over? So soon, I thought it would have at least lasted another week or so." He said as he walked further it to the study alcove of the Library.

"Is that all you know how to do? Make people believe your one thing and then come back and contradict everything you did to try and change their minds? Cause honestly I'm done with trying to guess who's gonna shed the sheep's skin and become the wolf again." She said as she looked at him with teary eyes. "I understand if the only reason you kissed me was just to mock me with it later but can you at least give me a few minutes before you resume torturing me again." Closing her eyes she turned away from him and ran her fingers over her forehead as if wiping away the head ache that was beginning to form behind her eyes. Walking closer to the table she was seated at he sat down and leaned back seemingly uninterested as he watched her take deep breaths as if trying to calm down.

"Don't cry, don't let him win. He's not worth your tears, and if you cry your showing the hold he has on you." Draco said as he crossed his arms over his chest. The movement was quick as she looked up at him.

"Fuck you Draco. Fuck you and your attitude; fuck your sudden interest in me. Fuck you and your devious plans and whatever game you're playing with me and my emotions and thinking you know anything about me, but most of all fuck you." She said as she stood fuming and wanting to punch him with everything she had. Standing in one quick and swift fluid movement he grabbed her and kissed her with everything he had. It wasn't meant to be soft and gentle; it was supposed to show her his passion where she was concerned, to control and dominate her and make her submit for just a moment if possible. Feeling her kissing back after a few seconds he deepened the kiss and tangled his fingers into her hair and tilted her head back slightly as he pressed his body closer to hers. His hands roamed over her curves through her clothes as their embrace continued and soon they were panting and gasping for air. "Not tonight love" He whispered against her lips. "If I fucked you, you'd be screaming. And since were in a library…"He said trailing off as he kissed her again silencing any response she may have had.

The kissing continued for a few more minutes until the burning in his chest forced him to break it and move back slightly from her yet still keeping a close distance. Looking into her eyes he wondered what she was thinking and soon it became apparent when her hand suddenly flew up to smack him. Grabbing her wrist he stopped it inches away from his cheek and scowled. "Why must your first reaction always be violence?" He asked as she struggled to wrench her hand out of his grasp.

"Why must you always assume I want you to kiss me?" She responded as she finally gave up trying.

"Because you kissed back, and that's the universal sign you wanted me too. I knew you had to be daft in something Granger but real—" His response was cut short as she stomped on his foot causing him to not only let go of her hand but take a few steps away from her. After a few moments and a few mumbles curses he looked up at her as she stood there arms crossed and a scowl planted on her face. "Again….Violence….is it necessary?" He said massaging his foot through his shoe.

"No its only necessary when you insult my intelligence, I'm not daft Malfoy and I'd appreciate it if you didn't insult my intelligence even more by assuming that I'm going to fall for the little game that you're playing."

"I'm not playing a game Granger."He said as he watched her huff at him "Just because you're still upset about Weasel and you maybe still having feelings for that wanker don't take it out on me." He said feeling himself getting annoyed.

"I don't have feelings for Ronald." She responded and when he quirked his eyebrow at her giving her his bullshit look she continued. "I've always to be something I wasn't; always tried to be the perfect girlfriend for him. Do everything he wanted me to, laugh at his jokes and ignore his disregard for normal intelligent conversation. But it was never enough for him……and for a few seconds before I still felt like trying to be something he wanted me to be and forgive him and let him pretend everything was alright. I don't have feelings for Ronald Weasley anymore but one thing I do know is what I feel for you is scaring me more than anything I've ever felt before in my life."

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A/N: Ok so first I want to say think you to everyone you reviewed, Favorites, and story alerted. It means so much to me and I'm thankful!! =) Also I'm looking for a Beta so if anyone is interested in beta-ing for me let me know in a PM and we get things settled. On that note I just want to remind everyone I'm writing this and going to University, and working so that's why things are a little slow. I'm trying to update as fast as I can without having the chapter be shitty so bare with me.

On to fun things you get a vote in this chapter. You get to choose one major events outcome in either the next chapter or the following one after that. Want to know what it is?

Skip to Christmas, and have it showing both Malfoy and Granger holidays, or continue a little bit more before going to Christmas holiday? You decide and the winning vote will determine the outcome.


	4. See Through

**A/N: **I'm so excited that you all loved the last chapter! =)

Matie Ker: I agree they're the best pairing, I used to love HG/HP but Harry got to depressing in the books for me so I decided I wanted the blond bad boy! lol

Melancholy. Ink: Yes he never paid her enough attention and I thought it would have never worked in the books simply because they were too different. Ron was a slob; Hermione was prim and proper to a point. He hated to work she loved it. She was polite and he was…gross! lol So yea my muse agreed and we have an understanding on pairings now.

The song(s) for this chapter:

1) Megan McCauley "See Through"

**Disclaimer**: I obviously don't own Harry Potter or anything pertaining to it. It all belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Brothers.

**Previously in Kill me or Kiss me:**

_"I don't have feelings for Ronald." She responded and when he quirked his eyebrow at her giving her his bullshit look she continued. "I've always tried to be something I wasn't; always tried to be the perfect girlfriend for him. Do everything he wanted me to, laugh at his jokes and ignore his disregard for normal intelligent conversation. But it was never enough for him……and for a few seconds before I still felt like trying to be something he wanted me to be and forgive him and let him pretend everything was alright. I don't have feelings for Ronald Weasley anymore but one thing I do know is what I feel for you is scaring me more than anything I've ever felt before in my life."_

* * *

Her words took a second to process as he continued to rub his foot and stare at her from the few feet away that he was standing, but when they did finally begin to register he couldn't help the smile that soon took over his face. He wanted to do three things at once after hearing her words; kiss her again but wasn't sure it would be good for his well being. Go and rub it in Weasel's face that he had lost the girl and Draco Malfoy had come and saved the day, but he knew that one he would either get hexed or would wind up getting expelled for the pain he would inflict on Ron for Hermione's sake. And three he simply wanted to make her believe he was honest and not playing some cruel and sick joke on her even though that's probably what she was thinking. Leaning against the small round study table he watched her for a second and noticed she was no longer making eye contact and that it had been about three minutes of silence and he still hadn't responded to her statement and cursed himself for not saying anything. "Bugger….listen Hermione…first I just want you to know" Seeing her grabbing her books and begin shoving them into her bag he watched her a second and then took a few steps towards her when her words met his ears.

"If you're going to tell me it wasn't anything serious and that I'm over thinking your intentions and all that other rubbish I know is in there then save it Malfoy." She said as she grabbed her bag and made to leave. Hearing her call him Malfoy in the tone that he'd been used over the years of she hated him he cringed and stopped walking towards her.

"Damn it woman, will you let me finish before you go off and jump to conclusions. I was going to say that first I'm not playing some game with you, maybe a few years ago I would be jumping at the chance do something like that but in all honesty I'm tired of the games. Second I'm serious about whatever is going on in my head and how I'm feeling towards you." Seeing her blush and then roll her eyes he sighed and continued. "I'm not saying I love you, Merlin knows I'd be lying if I told you right now that I did. I'll simply say I'm in strong like with you and despite my past actions towards you I do care." The last part of his statement got to her and she couldn't help the tightness in her chest or the burning that started in her eyes as his words. She didn't want his love right then and there hell she wasn't even sure she was ready to love or could love him or any other man like in the novels she read. Looking at him she hoped what she saw on his face was sincerity and for once in a long time she found herself almost believing him.

Going to respond to him Draco held up his hand and stopped her. "I've been raised to hate you, taught that because you weren't born into this world that you didn't belong. Caring about you is dangerous and just the thought of someone finding out and hurting you does scare me." Running his hand through his hair he sighed and then slid his hand down to the back of his neck and rubbed it. "I don't make many promises, and I can't promise you that I won't hurt you at some point, but one thing I can promise is that I will try not to. You've invaded my thoughts and there's not really a moment in my day that I'm not reminded of you somehow." Looking at her he sighed and then continued. "I'm torn between two things; torn between my desire to protect you from myself and people I am associated with and then there's the part of me that is aching to simply be who I am and not worry about who's around me, and who sees me with you."

Looking down at the strap of her bag she blushed at his admittance of wanting to protect her. She wasn't sure she believed him fully just yet but one thing for sure was that she wanted to give him a chance to prove everything he was telling her."I'm not asking for marriage Draco, I'm not asking for you to send an owl to the Daily Prophet informing them of whatever it is we have between us. All I ask for is honesty, because one thing I have no problem in doing is hexing you into the next century if you lie to me."

* * *

Over the next three weeks the two went about their normal schedule attending classes, going about their normal lives all the while keeping a potentially dangerous and deadly secret from the outside world. The impending Christmas holiday was looming ever closer and soon Draco would have to spend a whole three weeks at home with his loving mother and his overbearing and dangerous father. He went home only for his mother's sake and if it wasn't for her he wouldn't go home for the holidays at all, he preferred to avoid Lucius and him pressuring him to join the ranks and fulfill his pureblood obligation to the Dark Lord. He knew it was bound to be this holiday where he would be forced to join the Death Eaters and he knew that he wouldn't be able to say no without either being killed or tortured if he refused. Sitting in the Slytherin Common room with Crabbe and Goyle he scowled as he listened to them rattle on about how connected they felt with the Dark Lord and the other death eaters since receiving their marks before school began.

Realizing that Draco had yet to get his mark they turned to him and began asking him questions and instantly Draco regretted going back to the Common Room after canceling his rendezvous with Hermione. He had been having a bad day ever since receiving a letter from his father with nonsense about his studies and hoping he was doing well in his Quidditch, but Draco wasn't a fool and he had gotten used to reading in between the lines of his father's letters and knew there was a hidden threat in the seemingly innocent words. There was a warning of promised pain and repentance on his part of he messed up in school, or somehow embarrassed Lucius in any way shape or form. He had used the excuse of needing time to finish his advanced potions essay, as well as an extra credit assignment from Snape as a way to get out of seeing Hermione that night. He just didn't have it in him to face her knowing that the minute he saw her chocolate brown eyes he would feel guilty knowing he was soon going to become one of the things she hated in the magical world.

They had began to hang out more and simply be themselves around each other in planned and secret meetings in various places around Hogwarts grounds; The Lake, Hogsmeade, The library, and even the Quidditch Pitch when they knew no one would be around. He had been trying unsuccessfully to get her on a broom but he had noticed she was now considering going on one if he went on it with her, a sign that she was beginning to trust him more. Trying to successfully finish the assignment he actually had from Professor Snape, Draco threw down his quill and slammed his text book shut on the small coffee table that was sitting in front of the couch he was sitting on. "Shut up both of you, your constant blabbering is becoming bloody annoying and I'm actually trying to do my work which is more than I can say for you two." Grabbing his books and his parchment he walked out of the common room and up into his dorm room, throwing his things onto his trunk at the end of his bed.

Seeing his dark grey owl sitting on his bed with a small package and a letter dangling from his small foot he sat down and began opening the letter setting the package down on the bed next to him. Grabbing a small treat from on top of his night stand table he gave it to his owl named Hermes a name he had given him after learning that Hermes was the Greek messenger to the gods and the only one allowed to travel unharmed between the three worlds; Heaven, Earth, and Hell. The letter was from his mother something he noticed immediately from the soft and delicate cursive that adorned her customized stationary that had her maiden monogram on the top. The N and the B intertwined elaborately in a very feminine way. The letter was one page long the shortest of any of her letters to him and by the time Draco had finished reading the letter he knew his mother had gone through great lengths to get him this letter unopened and unread by his father for he knew if Lucius had read this his mother would have been tortured for such thoughts.

_My dearest Draco,_

_I write this letter in my own hand hoping it reaches you unseen or read by anyone except you. You are my only child and my dearest and most proud accomplishment, and for that reason among others is why I write you this letter. I have kept my mouth shut for too long and have sat by and watched your father instill his beliefs and his twisted way of worshipping a lunatic onto you and for too long I stayed quiet and didn't say a thing. But I will not let you my only son, My Draco make the mistakes he has made and condemn you to a fate I wouldn't wish on even my enemy. You are a brilliant boy and I know you have a good heart underneath the hard exterior of the Slytherin pride and façade. I tried hard as I could to make sure I taught you things I knew you would need one day in the real world whether it be before or after your Graduation, and I pray to the gods some of it had stayed with you. I'm sure you know by now that your father plans to offer you to The Dark Lord during the Christmas holiday and I don't want you to do anything to endanger your life by defying his wishes. I have done everything I can to help you and to make sure no matter what happens that in the end even if I am not there in body I will always be able to protect you._

_Enclosed in the small package is a small trinket my mother had given me after I turned sixteen, your aunts all have similar ones but mine came with something I never understood or appreciated until now. She told me that one day when I needed a light to make my path clear this necklace would light the way and protect me when I needed it the most. Being a foolish child I responded that I wouldn't need that as long as I had my wand, but now I believe that you might know someone who might need this more than I do now. Don't let your father or his beliefs be the reason you end up like me, regretting past decisions and wishing you had the chance to make them right. Treasure the ones who push you to be a better person, for they are rare and few in between. Protect them and make sure they know how much they mean to you before it's too late and you miss out on fates greatest gifts. _

_Be safe and remember that you are my life Draco._

_ N._

Folding the letter back up Draco picked up his wand and after mumbling a spell watched as the corner of the letter caught flame and soon were engulfed in flames. Grabbing the small package he tore off the simple brown paper wrappings and a small square box was inside, opening the small latch that kept the box closed he stared wide eyed at the chain and the small pendent that hung from the silver cord. The pendent was a point crystal that was about an inch and a half long and hung down the center of the chain. Holding it up to the light he watched the light reflect through the crystal and cast its light onto the wall and he knew just who needed its protection most if he was to continue on the journey he knew he had set before him.

Hearing footsteps coming up the stairs Draco made sure the letter was completely gone before he turned to look at who was coming towards him. Seeing the face of his best friend Blaise he smiled slightly and placed the necklace back inside the box and then placed it inside his night stand. Seeing Blaise smirk at him he gave him a confused looked and shut the drawer. "What?" Draco asked.

"Nothing just find it funny that your hiding that necklace like it's something no one can see." Blaise said as she plopped down on the edge of Draco bed his feet on the floor, lying back with his arms behind his head. "And before you say I'm mad and you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm just going to say I know it's for some chit you have a thing for. Who? I have no idea but she's got to be something if you're buying her a gift." Blaise smirked as he proved he knew his best friend better than he thought he did.

"So what if it is for some chit as you so gentlemanly put it, I always buy girls gifts." Draco said as he leaned against the night stand table arms crossed over his chest watching his best friend. Seeing Blaise open his eyes and give him a look Draco smirked and chuckled. "Ok so I've never bought a girl a gift worth mentioning since it was usually chocolate or some already dying bunch of flowers."

"You going to tell me her name then, or keep denying her existence. Because I highly doubt that Snape is giving you that much extra credit work when he constantly says you're his best student." Blaise said rolling onto his side looking at the guilty looking Draco. Sighing Draco knew Blaise wasn't going to stop until he got a name and to be honest he knew he could trust Blaise, but something in him knew that the less people connected with the Dark Lord that knew the better it was for everyone. Seeing the look on Draco's face Blaise sighed and sat up. "At least let me see the necklace, it's got to be nice since you placed it so delicately into your drawer." Blaise teased as he held out his hand. Opening the drawer and handing Blaise the small box Draco sat down in his bed and leaned back against his headboard his right leg pulled close to his body the other folded and tucked underneath. Watching him Draco's heart started beating faster as he opened the box and began inspecting the necklace. He wanted to tell Blaise but something inside of him told him that it wasn't the right time to say who it was for, hearing a noise from the stairs Draco looked up to find Goyle and Crabbe hiding behind the slightly opened door obviously trying to hide from the two in the room.

Instantly annoyance coursed through him as he watched the two scramble to close the door and run down the stairs, but it seemed someone beat him to the punch as a loud crash was heard from down the stairs and Blaise began laughing from next to him. "Damn nosey little wankers, that'll teach them to spy on us." Blaise said placing the necklace back into the box and handing it to Draco. "It's beautiful mate and I don't throw that word around often. She's got to be someone special for you to be giving her something like this. I gotta find me a guy like you all sensitive and sweet, so he can buy my girls all those gifts so I don't have to." Blaise was silenced a moment later when Draco's pillow collided with his face forcing him back slightly before laughter filled the room.

The next day Draco woke up and rolled over to realize that it was Saturday and that meant no classes, smiling to himself he stretched and decided that since Christmas break was only a week away he would give Hermione her present early. Slipping out of bed he looked out the window to find that the winters first snow fall had happened over night and the Hogwarts Grounds was covered in a thick blanket of white powder. Walking into the Dining Hall for breakfast after showering and dressing he pocketed the necklace in his jeans pocket and waited for the morning owl post for his letter to be delivered to the petite brunette across the hall. Eating his eggs and drinking his pumpkin juice he smiled when he noticed the owls making their way into the room through the large window near the front of the hall near where the teachers sat. Seeing Hermes flying around he watched him soar over the Gryffindor table until he spotted her and then landed gracefully in front of her and hooted softly in thanks when she fed him the crust of her toast. He had conveniently left his name blank on the letter but knew she would figure out who it was from; watching her reading over the letter and then the smile that slowly spread across her lips he couldn't help the smile that adorned his face in response.

_Meet me in our usual place at Noon; I have something for you from Santa._

It was short simple and most importantly to the point and vague. Anyone who read the letter after he would have to either know who it was from or be able to read her mind to see where that place was and where she was to go after breakfast. Folding the letter closed once she blushed and took a sip of her juice as she looked at him over the rim of her goblet. She had felt his eyes on her the minute he had walked into the room; it was something she had found disturbing at first since she had never been that tuned into someone before not even with Ron. But she had since grown used to it and his small and vague notes that happened to either appear on her desk or be delivered by the same small grey owl that she learned was named Hermes. Opening the letter again she noticed the writing that had once adorned the parchment was now gone erased from sight. Placing the now blank paper onto the table she wasn't ready to react when it was snatched from the table top by Ron who was sitting across from her next to Harry. Glaring at him she was about to grab it back when she remembered that it was now blank and she had nothing to worry about. "There's nothing there, why are you getting blank letters and from who Herms." Ron asked in an annoying whining voice much like a little child trying to get an answer from an adult who was ignoring them.

Taking the paper from him she placed it back on the table and glared at Ron. "Obviously since its blank it was meant for my eyes only and since you are not me you have no need to know who it was from. And second of all I hate when you call me Herms makes me sound like some gross bird." She said grabbing another piece of toast from the basket she began eating it as she wrote a reply on the parchment slowly and then fed another piece of toast to Hermes before he hooted happily and flew away again with the letter attached to his leg. Not seeing the small grey owl fly up circle the room and then land at the Slytherin table Ron continued to eat while mumbling grumpily to himself, but one person did happen to see and his green eyes widened in shock once he realized who the owl had landed in front of.

_You're hardly cute enough to be an elf mister._

Something he could see her saying if she was with him at that moment he folded it and placed it into his jacket pocket and continued to finish his breakfast. Seeing Blaise looking over at him he smiled and shook his head. "Oh was that a love letter from your little miss?"Blaise asked as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Maybe it was what's it to you?"Draco asked as he couldn't erase the smile from his face.

"Damn she's got you bad mate, do I need to fluff those pillows for when you finally hit the ground?"He asked Draco hoping his best friend wasn't getting in over his head.

It was eleven fifty five and as he leaned back against the stone wall behind him he wondered how she would react to his gift knowing she probably didn't have anything for him. It wasn't something they had talked about and it wasn't something he was sure she would accept easily but he was willing to try and see what she did with the situation. A cool breeze blew into the open alcove from all sides and he watched the leaves fly around a few inches above the ground and then his eyes landed on the _Mary Jane_ covered feet of a certain brunette walking towards him. Looking up at her he smiled as the wind whipped her hair around and a few strands landed in her eyes as she smiled back at him.

"Does this mean I'm going to be dating a man who's secretly an elf? I mean I could handle let's say a Veela or maybe half mermaid but elf, I'm not sure my back could take having to bend down all the time to hug you." She said with a smile as she sat down next to him. Seeing his face change from a smile to slight surprise she thought back to what she just said to see if she had said something wrong and when she couldn't think of anything she looked at him and asked what she had said.

"You just said you're dating me." Draco said a small smile growing on his face.

"Well yea… I mean we technically are since we are doing everything a couple who dates does minus the PDA of course." Hermione said with a blush as she suddenly found a small string on her gloves very interesting. "Unless we're not dating…then I can see why you'd be uncomfortable with me saying that." She began as she bit her lower lip. Seeing her doing this he knew she was now worried he hadn't thought they were dating and instead of making things easier on her he decided to have fun since it was so easy to fluster her. "What's PDA?" He said with a smirk and then waited for her to look up at him.

Blushing Hermione tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and began trying to explain it to him not understanding how he didn't know what PDA was. "Well it's kind of like…well when two people are dating and they have feelings…I mean when they like each other….bloody hell." Hermione said and then her eyes snapped up to look at Draco when he began laughing out loud. "What?"

"Did you just start having a sex talk with me?" Draco asked as he laughed at her red cheeks and her shocked expression. "Don't worry I know what PDA is you don't have to have that talk with me. Snape already did that in third year…never thought that man was capable of blushing." Draco said laughing as he remember Snap messing up what he was trying to say while Draco simply looked up at him with the signature Draco smirk. Seeing her confused expression Draco smiled. "You didn't know he was my Godfather? Huh I thought everyone knew." Shifting his position on the bench he remembered her gift when the box began digging into this thigh in his jeans pocket. Standing up he reached into his pocket and pulled out the box while she watched him intently and then watched the box as he pulled it from his pocket.

"I know we didn't talk about Christmas gifts but I wanted to give you this anyway and you're not allowed to say no." He said as he handed her the box. Watching her take it with slightly shaking hands she opened it and took a deep breath in as she pulled the long silver chain from the box and watched as she lifted it and the crystal dangled from the chain and reflected the light that was in the alcove.

"Draco it….it's be…beautiful, why are you giving me this?" She asked as he took it from her hand and then walked around to stand behind her. Placing the necklace around her neck waiting for her to lift her hair he then fastened the clasp and then walked back around to sit in front of her and smiled as he watched her look at the crystal in the palm of her hand.

"It's something to protect you when I'm not there and you're trapped in the dark and need a light to guide you." Draco said as he waited for her reaction. He didn't have to wait long for a few seconds after he finished talking Hermione flung her arms around his shoulders and hugged him. Wrapping his arms around her he hugged her to him and relished in the ability to do this after everything he had done to her in the past.

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A/N: Well this is the end of this chapter and I hope I made up for my long absence with it. The next chapter will be the last day before Christmas break and maybe Draco's Christmas holiday. Maybe….well leave some feedback and hope you all have a great Halloween if I don't update before then. Ooo maybe I might make a side chapter in one shot form for a lil Dramoine Halloween fun!! ^_^


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